In 2008, I started using a mobile phone. What a privilege it was for me back then. I vividly remember the excitement that came over me when I received my Nokia with an MTN SIM card loaded with airtime already inserted. Wow! Finally, I can also get to talk about my own experience with friends using a phone.
After ten years of owning and using a mobile phone, I realised that I have stuck with only MTN as a network even though I have used different kinds and brands of phones both feature and smart ones. I had some good experiences using MTN as well and sometimes I felt like dropping it for other networks. However, due to the negative feedback I received from users of the other networks, I remained paralysed.
Just last two months, I decided to give Vodafone a try with the same amount I invested in MTN for a month. The results after two months with the same investment are more rewarding. There, I realised what I had missed all these years simply because I was comfortable in my nest and refused to explore others.
As I thought about it, it dawned on me how similar this experience is to our day-to-day living. We tend to hold onto a bad experience with a person for too long that it prevents us from seeing them for who they really are. Yes, the first impression lasts but they are not always true. The first impression is only one experience of an individual which can be influenced by other factors. My point is, that we mostly go with the flow of an individual for too long that we don’t even see it when they change. Don’t be quick to write them off because your first encounter with them sucked. Have you tried the second time, then the third? Give people time to prove their worth. Only one experience is not enough to draw a conclusion on them.
There is an adage in Twi which says, “sɛ nsuo fa wo dɔfo bi a, ɛno nkyerɛ sɛ gyae nsuo nom.” This literally translates as the fact that your loved one got drowned in water does not mean you should stop drinking water. Things happen, people err, and disappointments come, but you should not be too quick to make a permanent decision over these temporary occurrences. If you have been hurt by a loved one, give yourself some time and allow it to heal. Has a relationship you invested in with much time, resources and effort just torn apart in your face? I am sorry about that. I am not going to tell you I understand how it feels to be heartbroken when I honestly do not. But sweetheart, don’t say you ain’t going to love again because of that single experience. You deserve better. Don’t allow one bad experience to ruin the ecstasy that awaits you in the subsequent ones.
How about you? Have you been paralysed by an amazing experience you have had that you have refused to explore the equally splendid ones out there? Yes! That job is good. It gives you a steady income and you don’t need to put in much effort. Maybe that is why you are not growing. You’ve been the same person for years now and everything is still the same. Meanwhile, with your smartness, resilience and the strong network of people that you have, you could establish a billion-dollar company and employ thousands of people, but for your love for a steady income. Stop giving yourself an excuse for your underachievement and paralysis. Don’t be content with what you have when you were built and destined for much more.
You cannot rank an option better or better without comparing it to others. Neither can you make a good comparison without trying other options? Don’t be too comfortable with only one option and deny yourself a better alternative. Eleanor Roosevelt puts it this way, “the purpose of life is to live it, taste it, experience it to the utmost, to reach out eagerly and without fear for newer and richer experiences”. We were born to be free, to expand our horizons by going where we have never gone before and not hanging out in the relative comfort and safety of the known. So try other things. It’s good to celebrate other people’s achievements, but far better to achieve something and watch you celebrate. Financial security is good, but financial freedom is better if not best.
In conclusion, expand your experiential scope. Don’t hold on to a good experience more than necessary and become paralysed by it. Similarly, don’t give a negative experience more time than it deserves. As you experience life, the good, the bad and even the ugly will come your way. Accept them when they come. The bad moments are meant to give you experience and make you wise, and the good moments will boost your confidence but none of them deserves to stay forever. The bad must make way for the good, which must also bow for a better experience. Learn to know when to move on. If you are not willing to risk the unusual, you settle for the ordinary. From today, decide to either let go of an experience that has been with you for years and challenge yourself to do more because you deserve better.
Daakyenti Health Foundation 